Tuesday, June 22, 2021

What a change.

It’s been a while since I posted an entry. In the last couple of months, so much has changed. Changes that I am still having a hard time accepting.

A few months ago, I complained of swollen legs and was diagnosed with DVT (deep vein thrombosis) then the next I find myself having a hard time peeing and suddenly here I am with tubes attached at my back and urine bags which I held on. I underwent, nephrostomy 3 weeks ago but the worst part is that along with all of these, I couldn’t seem to move my legs. I am partly paralyzed and needs assistance in doing almost everything especially pooping.

As to how my life looks now, I am resting most days - I have a portable toilet, a walker and I sleep sitting in a lazy boy. How drastic are the changes that I don’t see myself anymore but life has to move on. In a couple of days, I will be getting my palliative chemotherapy in hopes to shrink some of the nodes, so the tubes at my back can be taken out. Fingers crossed, I’ll do well in spite the difficulty. Please include me in your prayers. My cousins has also organized a GoFundMe. I would appreciate it if you can extend any help. Thank you so much. God bless us all!


I hope you’re not bother by my urine bags and swollen feet…

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Traveling During Pandemic

Happiest New Year everyone! This entry is tad late for the New Years and the Chinese New Year. Here's to praying that most of you are in good spirits and has started 2021 right. As for me, I did my first travel of the year to Cebu, not for tourism but for medical purposes and some tax related appointments.

Traveling these days is a lot of fun --- not. It's a little stressful and overwhelming. Gone are the days where traveling to places is as easy as buying a ticket online, packing your bags and just being at the airport before boarding.

Times are hard and with all the new restrictions and safety protocols, it feels as if we are traveling abroad with all the papers we need to present instead of feeling chill to be coming home to a very familiar place. I will be listing down below the requirements that my mother and I needed to present to be able to travel to Cebu.

Requirements: From Davao City to Cebu City

CONFIRMED TICKET BOOKING, we flew via Philippines Airlines. Confirmed ticketing bookings will be presented to your barangay officer to show that you are traveling to and from this city and so.

BARANGAY CERTIFICATE, to certify that you are fit to travel and that you are not a suspected or probable CoVid19 case. 

TRAVEL AUTHORITY/ POLICE CLEARANCE, to certify that you are allowed to leave and travel from and to Davao City and to your destinations.

LETTER OF ACCEPTANCE, this is to certify that the barangay where you are headed is allowing you to enter their border and stay with a protocol of a 14 day home quarantine. We are fortunate enough to own a house in Cebu with relatives who made the request on our behalf. We were given the Letter of Acceptance only after we sent a copy of our Barangay Certificate and Travel Authority/ Police Clearance.

ONLINE HEALTH DECLARATION FORM, this is an online form from PAL that you have to fill up prior to traveling which will generate a QR Code for them to track your health declaration. You have to save this via your email for easy access during airport checks.

TRAZE APP, is a mandatory app that you have to have prior to traveling. You can download the app and register in it for easier and hassle free travel during check ins. 

Requirements: From Cebu City to Davao City

CONFIRMED TICKET BOOKING, again to present that you are flying on this certain dates.

BARANGAY CERTIFICATE, this is to certify that you have undergone a 14 day home quarantine prior to your travels and that you are not a person under monitoring or person under investigation.

MEDICAL CERTIFICATE, to certify that you are fit to travel with no influenza like illness and no restrictions. So, you have to undergo a medical check up by a physician from the municipality that you belonged.

CERTIFICATE FROM THE MAYOR'S OFFICE,  this is to certify that you are allowed to travel outside of the border of the municipality that you live. This certificate is only given once you have the above mentioned certificates at hand.

TRAVEL AUTHORITY/ POLICE CLEARANCE, the travel authority allows you to travel and be granted access in different checkpoints and borders of the municipality you're leaving and of the city you will travel to. Only given once you have all the other certificates at hand.

LETTER OF ACCEPTANCE,  just like the requirement of Cebu, we needed a letter indicating that we are allowed to stay in our point of destination. It just so happen that we also own a house here in Davao. So my father made the request for a letter of acceptance but only after we sent him a copy of all the certificates that we have acquired.

RT PCR TEST, as part of the safety protocol and requirement of Davao City upon entering - my mother and I needed to present a negative swab test. Requirement is 72 hrs prior to flying. But I would suggest getting the test done 2 days before since it takes some time for the result to come in - around 12-18hrs after swabbing.

ONLINE HEALTH DECLARATION, same as the online portal you need to access for PAL passengers prior to flying.

DAVAO QR Code, if you're from Davao City then this comes handy because all of us has been using this at the start of the year and late last year. For those coming in to Davao City, it is best to register for the Davao QR Code since this is a requirement in most establishments for entry. NO QR CODE, NO ENTRY.

TRAZE APP, same app as I mentioned above. This is now mandatory and is valid for 3 years.

DAVAO CITY HEALTH DECLARATION, before entering Davao City, same as with the PAL portal of health declaration - Davao City has it's own portal which generates QR Code for easier access to your data once you arrived at the Davao City Airport. 

Woah! Writing all the requirement made me feel exhausted and that's how I felt the entire time. We flew to Cebu to get a second opinion on my swollen left leg as well as do the PET Scan which is not available in Davao but thinking about going through all the paperworks is dreading. 

They may seem easy and very accessible but the idea of having to take a queue and wait for minutes to hours to get the certificates is a little difficult considering social distancing and all those safety protocols but this is now the new normal which we all have to get used to. Also some of the documents are charged with a minimal fee which is below 100php but the rest if free of charge.

As of writing, some of the protocols have already changed or been updated but as the saying goes,"if there's a will, there's a way." If traveling if your cup of tea then these requirements are nothing new. Plane tickets and hotels are obviously on big discounts now. I don't promote tourism just yet but hey, if you have the budget and if you're itching to fly out then do it the new normal way - safe, healthy and filled with precautions with your face masks, face shield and sanitizers aka alcohol. 

With that sharing a photo of me at the Plantation Bay Resort and Spa in Cebu. Reminiscing my brief see, sea and relax escapade. Can't wait to go back soon when Martijn comes for a vacation. 

Thursday, December 31, 2020

Grateful for 2020

Wow! 12 months went by fast... a few more hours and we shall be welcoming a new year - filled with hopes and lots of aspirations to motivate ourselves and be an inspiration to others.

As I try to jot down lines for this posts, I can't help but wonder how 2020 made such an impact not just on one single life - but to all of ours. When this year started, I was filled with confidence that I will finally be free from my cancer woes and can start living the life that I felt I was deprived with by the medical treatments and procedures I went through but heck no - 2020 was a banger with a high pitch ring.

But, as all the other years that passed, where we felt unlucky - this year is no different - this year is a little special because everything stopped at the blink of an eye. This year, I lost two cancer fighter friends, I lost my grandmother and my husband's grandfather. I was told that I'll only be getting 3 cycles of second line chemotherapy but I ended getting all 6 and still not a clear scan. And if it couldn't get any worst, Mobee had a series of bleeding from a wound, my husband was hit with CoVid19 (he's doing better) and now, I am diagnosed with a Chronic Insufficiency on my Venous system. You see, if you think your year was bad - I say - ours was better than the rest of those who lost their loved ones due to the pandemic.

Believe me, I wanted to scream at this year. I find myself crying at night even at this very moment, I am because 2020 is too much and it's the real bully of all the bullies we've ever faced but then I look at myself in the mirror... I have a hair - I look at my love ones... they are well - we're alive albeit with some age inspired illness but we are here, closing this year that broke our hearts but also made us appreciate the things that truly matters.

Yesterday, I had a chat with some friends and they said - they are proud of how positive I sit in spite all the hardships I went through - I found myself in a soft whisper "because I have no choice". I do have a choice, I always believe we have two options or more in every situations we are in, we can either choose to fuck up or to be happy. As one IG cancer warrior I follow says - "choose". Choose to be happy, to be grateful. I am doing that.

Although, I may whine about the body aches I feel - I choose to look at the better tomorrow. I am grateful for 2020 despite all the fears, doubts and worries it has inflicted my family especially to my parents. I am here writing this entry, able to eat... in spite all the medical dramas I may have, I am grateful to have gone through another 6 cycles of treatment with flying colors even though I got hospitalized for low magnesium and almost loss my nails but I am here... And that's what matter.

If you find yourself contemplating that this year ran over you a little too much - always remember that these situations don't last forever. Every day is a miracle and things can change in an instant. We don't know what 2021 may bring but let's be confident for the best. May we continue to learn to adapt, appreciative and be happy.

Cheers to the upcoming year! May God continue to reign in our hearts. May our prayers be louder than our fears and may we continue to flow with the waves in style and in tune with positivity. Sharing below my top 9 photos of what I am grateful for this year. 
1. I am grateful for family. My parents who stood by me at the worst moments in life and still loves me in spite all the tantrums that I throw.
2. Grateful for our new kitten, Ming2x. If you remember last year, our female kitten was stolen.
3. I am grateful for my husband who in spite fighting CoVid19 on his own, came out triumphant and it also doesn't hurt that he has lose a tremendous amount of weight. #proudwife
4. Grateful for friends who despite the distance still manages to catch up as if 20 or so years just happened yesterday. Thank you for your constant prayers. May our prayers for each other always be loud.
5. I am grateful for successfully finishing 6 cycles of chemotherapy. Losing my hair over again was the worst nightmare. Happy to have gone through minimal side effects.
6. Grateful for being able to celebrate my birthday this year with a little bang. First time to have a balloon and cake in a long time.
7. I am grateful for Mobee, who has been my companion since I started my cancer journey. Couldn't imagine how dull life would be without him following me every where. 
8. Grateful for being able to see and witness God's beautiful paintings just in our foyer.
9. I am grateful to be a live. To be well in spite the pains I may feel. Thank you Lord God for the many blessings.

Friday, December 4, 2020

Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies

From a sad entry to an inspiring recipe for the upcoming holidays. For the last few months that I've been baking, this is the first time that I've finally baked the chunky chocolate chip cookies that I've always wanted. If I had known it would be so easy, I would have done this a long time ago. 

2 1/4 cups  Flour

3/4    tsp    Baking Powder

3/4    tsp    Salt

1/4    tsp    Baking Soda

1 1/2 stick Butter

1/2    cup   Brown Sugar

1/3    cup   Light Corn Syrup

1       large Egg

2       tsp    Vanilla Extract

2       cups  Semi-sweet Chocolate Chips

*In a bowl, softened butter and mix in brown sugar and light corn syrup. Add egg, vanilla extract and stir well.

*Mix flour and fold in chocolate chips.

*Form batter into a ball and place in baking trays.

*Bake at 175c for 10-12 minutes.

They look so gooey and literally delicious. Can't wait to bake another batch before Christmas.
And oh! Only mixed everything by hand. Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

CoVid19

This post is a little sensitive but with all that has been happening for this year - everything seems to be a sensitive and unexpected topic. Here's to hoping that most of you are in great spirits and in good health. 

Two months ago, Martijn was tested positive for CoVid19. Just when I thought this year couldn't get any worst - me - being a cancer thriver suddenly became irrelevant. To be honest, I didn't know how to react to the news when he shared it to me. I remember, he complained about getting tired after his usually Sunday walks and in the days that followed, he continued to feel that. 

The next few days, Martijn sent me a message saying his co-worker got tested and was positive and that he would also be tested due to his close exposure with the other baker (in my head I wanted to keep a positive vibe - my husband is a tough cookie - he's not getting the sh*t) but the day came and he was positive of the virus. I didn't know how to deal with it, knowing that I was far and Martijn was alone at home, made it all more difficult for me to comprehend why such thing happened. 

My husband had most of the symptoms. It started with tiredness, a little pain in the chest, runny nose, no sense of smell and taste and thank God, these were just the symptoms that he had. This basically lasted for almost 2 weeks under home self-quarantine. I felt helpless not being able to do things for him. Hearing him say that it takes all his energy just to walk to the toilet from our bedroom was a nightmare. In most countries, CoVid19 positives are asked to do a home quarantine. For Martijn, it was just a 10 day quarantine but he decided to do longer just to make sure. 

There is no vaccine nor prescribed medication. My in-laws bought my husband vitamins and Martijn had to cook healthy meals to fight off the virus. He was asked by his doctor to call in, if he feels worst than he already had. Fast-forward to now, he is doing much better and had just started doing regular work hours at work. During his quarantine period, he was also given letters to send out to those whom he had close contact with to inform them about the situation. I, somehow wish our government does the same, to avoid the further spread of this virus. 

CoVid19 is not a joke. It is real and I just hope most people will understand the rate of its havoc. Some people are blessed to have good immune systems to fight this illness. My husband and I video-called every day during his quarantine time and I can see the look of tiredness wearing him off and it's a painful sight. Prayers and loads of meticulous cautious should be practiced. Wear your face masks, face shield, wash your hands ever so often and eat healthy foods. Most of all, avoid crowded places.

None of us know when this pandemic will end but I know that if we do our share to help each other, we will be able to get by just fine. Thank you to all the front liners who are giving their best every day and to every one who was able to fight off this virus - you did well. My - our hearts go out to those who have loss their loved ones during this difficult time due to CoVid19. God Bless us all.

Sharing a recent photo of us. Apart but never far. Stay safe everyone!

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Simple and Easy Sushi Bake

Hello November! How is everyone holding up? I hope that most of you are in good spirit and in good health. 

At the start of the Covid19 pandemic, a lot of great recipes and "HIT" "IT" dishes came to life to make most of us famish. For me, it was the Sushi Bake craze that got me thinking why the heck are people going crazy about it? Why is everyone making some and selling it? 

People are actually making profits from it and I don't know why it took almost 7 months for me to come up with my own easy twist. I have made sushi recipes before (learned it from my Turkish friends and recipes are readily available online) and so after months of contemplation, I came up with a super simple and super easy Sushi Bake with 3 kinds of toppings - Tuna, Kani, Sweet Ham. 

Ingredients:
1cup   White Rice (Japanese Rice, if it's available)
1cup   Frozen Mixed Vegetables (optional)
5cups  Water
1cup   Sliced Cucumber
1cup   Kani 
1cup   Sliced Sweet Ham (any meat will do - bacon will do well - even spam)
1cup   Japanese Mayo
1pc    Canned Tuna
1tbsp Sesame Oil
3tbsp Hoisin Sauce
3tbsp Fermented Korean Chili Paste
2tbsp Sesame Seeds
1tsp   Dried Basil
1tsp   Garlic Powder
1pack Nori Seaweeds

*Wash and drain Rice with running water. In a pot, pour in water and add Rice. Cook for 20 minutes then add frozen mixed vegetables. Simmer for another 10-15 minutes while adding water. I'm cooking the Rice in this recipe the Dutch way but to make it easier - Asian style is the best - Rice cooker :D 

*In a bowl, mix drained Canned Tuna with Hoisin Sauce and Dried Basil. Set aside.

*In a different bowl, mix Kani with Garlic Powder and Japanese Mayo. Set aside.

*In another bowl, mix Sliced Sweet Ham with Fermented Korean Chili Paste. Set aside.

*Let the Rice cool for a few minutes before placing it in an oven safe dish ware. Spread evenly to the bottom of the dish ware then place sliced cucumber on top. Since this recipe is of 3 kinds of toppings, divide your topping placement 3 parts. First Tuna, Kani then Sweet Ham. 

*Once all is placed, drizzle with Sesame Oil. 

*Bake in the oven for 20 minutes.

*Once bake, garnished with Japanese Mayo, Sesame Seeds and Nori Strips (you cut them into strips - Nori Seaweeds are sold in big pieces).

Serve with Soy Sauce with Lemon and Nori Seaweeds Wrappers. But seriously, the topping choices for this one is endless. I want to try some mushrooms next time. Happy mid-week everyone! 

Saturday, October 31, 2020

External Beam Radiation

Finally, after more than a month of no new post - writing down something that I've promised a couple of months ago... with hopes that most of you are doing great in spite and despite of all the chaos that is happening in the world, hope everyone is healthy and well.

A few months ago, I've posted about my Brachytherapy experience and mentioned about the other treatment that I also underwent last year - External Beam Radiation. This particular treatment uses a specific dose of non-invasive radiation to shrink tumours and cancer cells using Linear Accelerator machines that produces photon beams that is aim on the cancerous area within the body. Although, this treatment is non-invasive, it can still affect and damage healthy cells in other body parts during treatment.

Before undergoing Radiation Therapy, one has to undergo a scan to see the locations of the cancer cells that needs to be treated. Prior to getting the scan, one has to have a passing creatinine blood result then fasting overnight to make sure your stomach and bladder are clear, so that radiologist can get a better picture of the insides of your body. Once you're in the scan room, radiologist will put markings on your body as guide once you start your daily treatment.

At the start of each daily treatment, nurses will take your vitals - temperature, blood pressure and weight. On a weekly basis, one also has to submit a passing mark for platelet count. During the treatment, you will be ask to wear a laboratory gown and lay on the radiation machine. Since, my treatment was for the whole abdomen, I had to make sure that my bladder is full - so bringing in a litre of water was mandatory. It only takes 15 minutes including preparation for the treatment. The treatment itself is only for 5 minutes or less. How the machine beams and cycles its radiation, depends on which body part you're getting the treatment, since mine was for the whole abdomen, the machine makes a circular north, east, south and west motion around my abdomen area - pausing for a few seconds with each stop.

Within therapy period, your oncology radiation doctor will give you tips on what to avoid eating and things that you have to take notice during the days you're getting treatments. I was asked to avoid eating diary and spicy food - for the simplest reason that this can cause upset stomach - which can lead to a slight diarrhea. Which by the way happened during my 33 days of radiation therapy - because these foods are life. The number of days one has to undergo this treatment depends on which type of cancer it is. Usually, it just 28 days for the type of cancer I have but my oncology doctor didn't want to take chances, so I went in for 33 days of External Beam Radiation. 

Some of the side effects that I experienced during this course was the slight diarrhea, some bumps on my private area, a little pain in my abdomen (hello! radiation beam burns stuff - imagine what else it does in your skin and other body parts) and darkening of my inner thighs which were all treatable except for the darkening spots - I still have them until now but better than last year. I would say that External Beam Radiation was an easier treatment compared to chemotherapy. The only hassle was that it was every day. I was truly blessed to have finished this treatment with flying colours - though I had to go back for additional treatment this year - I am grateful because during this treatment, I met a lot of good people - cancer patients, therapist and nurses who always made me feel comfortable in spite the nerves that most of us patients feel each time we are in the hospital. 

Thank you to all the stuff at the Radiation Oncology Department of DDH. I never felt scared during my treatments except on days when I feel like pooping and holding it down while getting the treatment. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me - to my family and friends, I couldn't have done it without your blessings. And to those whom I've met - cancer patients - we've done well comrades. 

This entry took only a few minutes to write but the experience is worth a lifetime of stories to tell in between. I don't know what the future holds for us but I know that I will continue to stand and share my little victories to my friends who has gone ahead of us because they deserve to be acknowledge, just like the rest of us who are still here. God is good all the time. 

The hardworking people from the Radiation Oncology Department
 I have no photos during treatment since this post never crossed my mind last year
And here's how the markings looks like.





Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Well, Hello There Thirty-Seven!

Hello there good ole thirty-seven! Can't believe, we're still kicking it one day at a time. Another year passed and we are still here thriving to be better versions of ourselves. The last year had been nothing but a shocker. From finishing all my Cancer treatments, celebrating life with my family and husband to finding out that some new lymph nodes are swollen - to having to undergo another round of Chemotherapy and CoVid19 happened. So all plans had to pause including plans of migrating to Holland.

To say that I spent the last year enjoying the ride is an understatement. So many lessons learned in a span of a year - from re-learning new skills to acknowledging new traits in spite and despite all the circumstances but grateful for family, friends and the people I've met along the way. As we get older, we become a little sentimental over life's tiny victories. And in all of these, we must learn to rejoice and sway with every miracle. 

I honestly, don't know what to expect in this new chapter, of the adventures that are bound to unfold but I have faith that in all this chaos - something wonderful is worth the rollercoaster ride. I didn't have a fancy nor solemn celebration this year but it was a fun filled one.

Last year, I went for my Radiation Therapy - went to church and had a beef burger meal at Friday's with my parents. It was a gloomy day in 2019 and as I was about to take a bite from my burger - an earthquake came and we had to leave our table and only came back to eat after 40 minutes. This year, the weather was beautiful. I went to attend mass and did an early video-call with Martijn. My mother's siblings decided to pay us a visit and I'm glad they did - the house was alive. Also, our Vietnamese priest friend Rev. Fr. Paul came to celebrate with us and bless me.

I didn't have a burger meal this year as I've initially planned but I got the best gift to start my year - surrounded by the love and prayers of my family and friends. Though 2020 has proven to be a year full of crazy stuff, let's not forget to be grateful for our every days. Another year may had passed and we might feel lost with all our troubles but let's not forget that - "this too shall pass".

To everyone who sent their well wishes, gifts and prayers - thank you. God Bless your thoughtful and kind hearts. May the rest of 2020 be promising in terms of health, love and happiness.

The weather was amazing during my birthday, it was probably God's way of letting me know that everything will be oke - to trust his timing at all cost and to enjoy every bit of life because it is the greatest gift that we've all been given.

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Two Years Married: 5 Lessons Learned

A couple of weeks ago Martijn and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. Two years of being away from each other went by fast. Although, my husband had been coming to the Philippines for a visit in the last years - it is still a little odd that a young married couple are celebrating their blissfulness in different time zones but there are circumstances that we can't predict nor run away from - CoVid19 happened. 

Last year, I posted an entry on the 8 lessons we learned in a span of one year being married. This year, I was trying to top what I previously wrote but only ended on 5 lessons which was mostly from my husband. I'd say nothing much has changed in our set up, though there are a lot of changes - I am still partly bald from all my cancer treatment and Martijn has started losing weight. One thing remains - I am still happily married and in love with my husband. 

Communication, since we are both on Long Distance Relationship - it is important to have a constant communication - of any form; messaging, video call and believe it or not - email (my husband is a fan of this). An open communication is necessary for couples who are spending most of their days apart. Never forget to say hi in the morning and goodnight in the evening. We usually a lot a time for video call. We keep track of each other's plan for the day and would randomly send photos of each other - of what we're doing or where we currently are. 

Be Selfless, being away from each other - somehow makes us all feel a little selfish. There are instances, where I feel that I am not that involved in my spouse's life, that sometimes I feel, he is not as present in mine as well. These emotions can sometimes pile up and cause us to unconsciously demand more from our wife/husband. Being selfless means being able to respect your partners choices and opinions. Listening to each other, no matter how shallow the whines might be. I've previously wrote that Martijn is such a good listener which balances my need to be heard. It is of course a give and take - two way street. 

Go With The Flow, be the couple who doesn't think so much of what they can and can't control. The world as it is, is full of unpredictable circumstances that could either make or break you both. Stand still and ride the tides of the storm with courage and faith. Martijn and I, albeit our marriage is still young had been quiet on a roller coaster. My husband is a dreamer, an optimist and I am a realist - pessimist. A complete opposite but somehow, we both have to agree that in order for our relationship to continually grow - we have to go with the current and see the views we pass by. The world might be too shallow and scary but if we have each other to hold hands and to stand together though miles apart then we're all good.

Always Be Positive, stand your guard and don't let it down. I have to admit that there were so many instances where I've been throwing my husband endless fires of tantrums and I've noticed that he has never let his shield down nor given up on us. In spite all my flaws - our flaws, we have decided to stick to other and think of what lies in the future for us. My husband once said "the world doesn't seem to like us very much". It got stuck in my head and made me think but then if we both decide to get stuck by that idea then we will not move forward and grow together as husband and wife. It is necessary that when the other feels that the world is colliding endlessly - the other has to be the torch that brings in positivity and lifts the other. Martijn usually cracks the joke when my mood seems blue and when it's his moment, I try my best to be the funny Asian that I can be.

Make It Work, a married couple are two different individuals with different perspectives - making it a little impossible to be on the same page but given the circumstances that you might be in, make it work. Compromise whenever the situation calls for it. Always respect each other's boundaries. You might be married but keep in mind that you're two different people. As much as possible, try your best to be there for the other. Support each other no matter what. Last year Martijn started a little house project but it didn't mean that I can't be part of it because I was virtually with him in choosing furnitures and in deciding which and what to buy (although I would usually see the photos once I'm up because of the time difference). 

Initially, I wanted to write 8 lessons learned in a span of two years but in my husband's word; "we can't always learn 8 lessons every year or else we'll have more than a hundred". Although, I would gravely disagree on that because learning something about each other and about our union, is never ending - I would partly nod, since I can't think of anything else to jot down. 

Being away for two years instead of being on the same roof and learning something new every day, Martijn and I are apart. No regrets nor pity thoughts about our situation, for I know that God has greater purpose for all of these. We might not always be on the same page but my husband and I are on the same boat, reading and writing the same fairytale. Wishing all the best for married couples who are affected by the recent world crisis. Let's all cheer up. Let's all keep an open communication, be selfless, go with the flow no matter how bad it might be, always stay positive in faith and make it work for always.

My favourite photo of me and Martijn from last year during his visit to the Philippines.



Saturday, August 15, 2020

Brachytherapy

Hi everyone! Haven't been that active in the last couple of months and this particular post - is almost a year late but nevertheless writing down my experience on Brachytherapy. One of the cancer treatments that I underwent last year aside from Chemotherapy and Radiation Therapy (which I have yet to share)

What is Brachytherapy, that's the first question that I had then when I was being told that I have to undergo this treatment to get rid of the cancer in my body. Brachytherapy is a procedure that involves placing radioactive instrument inside the body. This instrument is placed in one's private area for a specific amount of hours (days, depending if it's low or high dose). This procedure is a protocol for Prostate, Ovarian, Cervical and Endometrial Cancer. 

I had this procedure sandwiched between Radiation Therapy. I was doing daily Radiation Therapy when I was scheduled to undergo Brachytherapy. The reason for this was to avoid complications once my private part starts to tighten because of Radiation Treatment. Since I had no history of giving birth, the private part is not as elastic as it would have been. 

Before anyone goes through this treatment, one has to be physically, mentally and emotionally prepared. Preparation starts with some laboratory works to ensure your body is ready for the treatment. After which laming and fasting follows. You will be given medicines to make sure your intestines are clean before the insertion. This is the part where you need to poop everything out - NO POOPING once the radioactive instrument is inserted. You also need to wear a surgical stockings prior to insertion (photo at the end of the blog) to clots from forming in your legs.

During insertion, you will be put on anaesthesia. The radioactive instrument comes in different sizes depending on how elastic the opening of one's private part is thus, the need for anaesthesia. But have no fear, you don't really feel anything after because you're still a little drowsy. By the time you feel some tiny pain, you're already in your hospital bed. 

Once the radioactive instrument has been inserted, you will be on catheter and on adult diapers until the treatment is over. No pooping for the duration of the treatment which is a little difficult - I did poop on my last day (I never thought that day will ever come in my adult life but it did - c'est la vie!). You will also be in your room alone - isolated because you can't exposed anyone on the radioactive material inside you. Eating and drinking was the most difficult part. On your bedside is a table that has all the essentials you need, intercom to call the nurse (no worries they can see everything you're doing from the cctv in the room) bottled water, remote controls, etc. 

Everything you need should just be within reach and oh, I forgot to mention that you are not allowed to move to avoid misplacing the instrument inside you. And I did mention that you will be alone in your room. So, imagine how difficult it was to eat (food is delivered by the nurse who wears the heavy suit for protection), with just one hand because the other has an IV line. My suggestion for those who have to undergo Brachytherapy is to bring more liquid and take finger foods such as crackers. Also focus on getting as much rest rather than connecting to the outside world. 

My Brachytherapy lasted for 45 hours. In the event that you do poop during the treatment, an on call radiotherapist will stop the radioactivity in the inserted instrument, so the nurse or your family member can clean you and then they activate it again. Once you're done with the treatment, you will undergo anaesthesia again and will be advice to rest and take some antibiotics.

The aftermath of this treatment were burns on my back which is a foot long and about 4 inch in width which I can still visibly see after almost a year. There will be a little pain in your private parts and you will have to do suppositories to prevent any infection. Basically, I did quite well with this treatment. Looking back at the hardships I have to endure for this treatment, I will always wonder why I never rejoiced on this victory by eating a box of pizza but kidding aside, any medical treatment is not fun. One has to be more than just physically, mentally and emotionally ready, one has to be spiritually ready as well.

This treatment was not a life and death kind of experience but some had, had it was worst and I am really blessed to have been surrounded by my family's strength and courage. I couldn't imagine going through this phase without my parents sitting outside for hours although they are not allowed to see me. And I can still remember how I cried because I needed to poop so bad but had to stop it which led me to having pains in my belly. Others should really give more credit to what cancer patients go through to get better. To my fellow cancer patients who underwent this treatment, be proud of yourself. Let's tap our backs and continue to soar because such victories aren't heard but here we are, a testament that things might be cloudy most days but there's always a rainbow after. Also, this post is to share my piece of adventure. There might be stuff that I have forgotten to mention, so feel free to message me. And, I would like to thank the nurses and staff at Davao Doctor's Hospital for taking good care of me and to my husband, my in laws and my entire family who were there for me in prayers. Cheers! 
Surgical Stockings - it comes in different sizes S-XL and can be bought from drugstores. The stockings basically runs up to the thighs.
IV line which was dextrose.
The hospital bed was surrounded by metal barriers on all sides. It looked really weird but these barriers are to protect those who comes inside the room.
And presenting the side table where all the essentials I need are placed.
Some of the selfies that I took (LOL - was literally bored and holding my poop at this time)

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Easy Washable Face Masks

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I last posted anything. Things has kind of gotten hectic and crazy for most of us in the last couple of days - weeks - months. I've been doing a lot of rest aside from the national home quarantine that is being ruled in my country (well that, aside from I am still under treatment but will reserve that blog entry in the coming months - fingers crossed this pandemic is cleared by then). Here's to praying that you are all safe and sound and staying away from crowded places and following the regulations your country is implementing (it's for our own good).

Anyway, the purpose of this entry to help out anyone who wants to create their own surgical washable face masks - given that the non washable is on scarcity due to the impending spread of the CoVid19. I saw this tutorial on youtube with no sew masks but since I own a sewing machine, I decided to recreate mine with the aid of the machine. Will post photos, so it's easier to understand. Hope, this helps those who needs to own one. Goodluck!
Materials: Cotton Fabric, Bird's Eye Fabric, Garter Bands, Pins, Scissors, Threads, Surgical Masks, Pen and Paper. Sewing Machine (optional)
Step 1: Fold the surgical mask in half as seen on above photos, making sure that it's on full stretch to ensure the perfect fit. Trace the edges on paper as what I did and cut. The pattern should look like on the second photo when opened.
Step 2: Using the pattern you cut, place it on your cotton fabric and bird's eye fabric and trace the edges, making sure you give a half an inch allowance for folding and sewing - later on. Cut traced fabrics and prepare for sewing.
Step 3:  since this is a customised masks, the garter bands depends on how loose or tight you want it to be or for whom you're making it. The sizes of my garter bands are 9.5inches for me and my father and 8.5inches for me mother (since she has a smaller face)
Step 4: now that you've traced and cut the fabrics, it's time to sew. What you do is group them into two. A pair of the cotton fabric and bird's eye fabric will be sewn together and the remaining cotton fabric. You will have to sew on the inside of the fabric, making sure the bird's eye is on the outer layer as seen on the photo above. Sew straight on the edge keeping in mind the half an inch allowance (sorry I forgot to trace it on the fabrics but follow red arrows). After sewing the center of each fabrics, sew them together as seen on below photo.

This is how it's going to look like on both center of the grouped fabrics. Sew the edges as you have traced the pattern.
Step 5: Turn sewn fabric inside out and using a pin, fold and pin each sides as seen on photo and adjust your garter band to your desire size. Sew together.
Finish Product

For this project. I used 2 meters of Bird's eye fabric. 1 1/2 meters Cotton Fabric. These materials made a total of 18 facial masks.

There are a few glitches on how I wrote the instructions but I hope that I was able to give justice to how I made these washable face masks. Should you have any questions, I wouldn't mind answering them, just hit me a message on here. Happy weekend all!

Saturday, January 4, 2020

Chemotherapy

Writing this entry took some time. I simply didn't know where to start, which words to use - I didn't know where to begin with my chemotherapy experience. But I'll try my best to settle with words that are easy to understand.

After knowing that there were still two fixed lymph nodes in my body that the oncologist was unable to take out, I knew in my heart that I will have to undergo a series of Cancer treatments. First of which is Chemotherapy. Honestly, I didn't care anymore when I heard that I'll have to do six cycles of this treatment. I wanted to get better, to live further than what cancer usually settles in. I had faith in my doctor, the medications and above all, I know God is with me and will be with me.

The impending hair loss was something that I did look forward. Eventually, I will loss my hair because of the chemicals in the drugs to be used. So, I prepared by buying myself hair wigs and eyebrow pencils. Coming from a family who had two aunts who loss their hair because of chemotherapy, I somehow knew what to expect and there are many blogs online, shared by cancer survivors about their experiences and that helped a lot. The important thing that I kept telling myself was to accept things as they come. That I will eventually grow my hair back.

Preparations before Chemotherapy (what to bring)
Prior to getting infused with the chemo medicines, there are a few preparations that had to be done aside from mentally setting your mind, emotionally and spiritually - one has to be physically healthy to be able to undergo the treatment. The chemo drugs that were used on me were a combination of Paclitaxel and Carboplatin. Researching about these drugs before getting the treatment made me realised how strong the effects are that they made one loss the hair (not just scalp hair but the entire hair in the body - including nostrils). Going online and researching about these things helped in easing up the anxiety I felt then. Having enough knowledge on what you'll go through helps in mentally preparing yourself.

I had to undergo six cycles of which, which was given every 21 days. Before each treatment, I have to undergo a series of medical exams that includes complete blood count, sodium, calcium, potassium, urinalysis, CA125, blood uric acid, creatinine, SGPT, magnesium (and a whole lot more which I kind of forgot) to see if I'm fit to push through with every treatment schedule. Each medical exam gives me the creeps. The needle had been my bestfriend in the last couple of months but no complains, I didn't have any delays in my chemo treatment. I was mostly healthy though there were times that medical results shows a markdown on certain levels but was always passing. Praise God.

The night before my schedule chemotherapy, I have to take 10 tablets of Dexamethasone (5 tablets at 9pm and another 5 tablets at 3am). Dexamethasone is a type of steroid that prevents the release of substance in the body that causes inflammation. Apart from this, I do cold compress on my hands one week before each treatment to keep my veins alive and visible during infusion. It is important that the veins in the hands are visible, this makes the infusion easier for the CA patient and it's less painful when the drugs are infused in the hand veins than in the arms but it varies person per person. For me, it was always easier on the hands but at the later part of the cycles, my veins started to collapsed. During my fifth chemotherapy, the needles didn't hold on to the veins anymore which led to my hand’s swelling for more than a week. The veins where the first few infusions were done were not visible anymore. It was only recently (after External Radiation Therapy) that my veins were visible again.

What to bring during chemotherapy, I'd say bring loads of food - nah! kidding but on serious note, it is best to bring your own set of lunch and small snacks as well as drinks - preferably water. During my treatments, I would have light breakfast at home, usually plain oats. My father prepares my lunch which is consists of brown rice, steamed vegetables and mushrooms or fish and I have crackers or fruits for snacks. The entire time I had my treatments, I mostly eat only steamed vegetables, mushrooms and fish. Mushrooms are good for the immune system and when you have cancer, it is best to avoid salty dishes. And the most important thing you have to bring with you (which I also learned from my aunts) is a liter or more of drinking water. Once you start getting the chemo infusion, it is best to stay hydrated to keep on peeing to flash on the toxins from the chemo drug. As my aunt would say - drink water as if your life depends on it.

Also, don't forget to bring essentials like hand lotions, hand sanitizer, candies (in case you puke - choose the ginger flavoured candies or lemon), neck pillow, book (in case you get bored), tablets (for movies if you prefer movies like I do), gadget chargers and headsets, you don't want to ruin others relaxing/ sleeping vibe at the infusion center.  And a pair of socks and make sure to wear something comfy like a dress for easier movements when going to the toilet.

During Chemotherapy (what to expect)
Just when you thought you're done with all the necessary preparations for your treatment - that's when you find out that there is no such thing as the preparation is over in the cancer world. Prior to getting the treatment, the nurses have to weigh you in (to make sure the dose for the medicines are appropriate for you), take your vitals (temperature, heart rate and blood pressure) - all which I fail, I usually get so scared upon seeing the nurses and the thought that I might get another bad side effects like the ones I heard from someone and so on (these thoughts run to CA patient's mind - it's best to mellow down on telling us stories that don't help nor inspire us). I was always asked to rest for a bit then they take another round and if I pass then we're good to go.

The second step after the vitals is - dextrose or flashing as they call it to prepare your veins. After about 30 minutes to an hour, the nurses starts to give you the preventive inflammation medicines like steroids and stuff (I forgot to ask the names but I had 5 pre meds infusion before the chemo medicines). And they have to stay in your system for about 30 minutes then the first chemo medicine infusion starts. They always start with Paclitaxel which lasts for 4 hours and then flashing for an hour and then it's Carboplatin which lasts for 2 hours then another hour of flashing. All in all, it takes about 7 hours for one cycle of chemotherapy but it feels longer than that. I sometimes, come in at 8 in the morning and go home at almost 5 in the afternoon.

During the infusion of the pre meds, nurses will inform you of any side effects that you may feel, one particular drug had the side effect of a super itchy butt hole which could last for a minute and you'll usually feel tired and sleepy which you have to give in to, so you could rest. There are also instances where you will feel a burning sensation on your veins with Paclitaxel, once this occurs, it is best to request for some cold compress (thankfully, I only had that during the start of infusion then by magic they increase the flow of dextrose and it's better but I had batchmates who had to have the cold compress the whole treatment or every treatment).

Along the treatment procedure, you will feel more relax once you just focus on getting enough rest while you're getting the medicines. It will be hard to move with the infusions attached on your veins but you can still move and you have to somehow exercise your hands to avoid cramps.

After Chemotherapy (side effects, hair loss and foods)
Feeling tired or lazy after each treatment depends on the person. Each person is different from the rest. I, for myself always went malling after each treatment, I'm grateful that I didn't feel as tired as most CA patients did after chemotherapy. I learned during the entire six cycles, to move when you can, to use your energy when you have enough to do what you want to do.

I started losing my hair at the first cycle, though not abruptly but slowly. I would shower and would have falling hair. But prior to the start of my treatment, I already trimmed down my long hair. It was during the second cycle that I decided to shave off my hair because the hair fall was starting to annoy me. I didn't have a problem with losing the hair scalp. It was losing the eyebrows that really caught me off guard. It was something that I had a hard time processing. I started losing all my hairs in body parts during third cycle and by fourth, fifth and last cycle - I was bald every where even my eyelashes which made it difficult to be outside without any sunglasses or eyeglasses to protect the eyes. But it was easy to adjust one day at a time with the loss. I started to go on youtube, pinterest and googled on how to do my eyebrows which I eventually learned like a professional but the lashes but something different. I had bulging eyes. The scalp was easy to cover with fashionable caps which are available online. Scarves were nice but it was difficult to wrap them on the head. Also, I bought 3 hair wigs which I did used a couple of times.

The most common side effects that I experienced was gum numbness, hand numbness, fatigue, headaches and joint pains. There were also instances were I didn't like the smell of certain foods but never did I puke nor got too bed ridden because of the medicines. I think the worst side effect that I acquired that even up to now, I still have is the on and off smell. I am glad that I had take home post chemotherapy medicines each cycle. Preventive measures set by my oncologist to ensure I am comfortable the entire treatment and I am bless to have experienced minimal and tolerable side effects. But the most common of it all, would be a really bad temper. That's why it is important to always appreciate and let a CA patient feel love, no matter what.

During chemotherapy, all your immune system is going to fail and a CA patient is more prone to infections, bacteria and viruses thus, it is important to eat healthy. It should be a balanced healthy meal. I, mostly had malunggay (moringa) soup, steamed mushrooms, steamed vegetables consists of broccoli, beans, carrots and sometimes potatoes. I had a good appetite the entire time, I had brown rice always. Try to avoid sugary food, canned foods and processed foods of any kind. A couple of times I was diagnosed with UTI because of too much fruits. I have also avoided eating meats of any kind during the entire course of my chemotherapy. The bloatedness was from the steroids and from how good I was in eating. It is also important to have all the necessary vitamins you need in order to sustain what is being destroyed by the chemicals on the chemo drug.

I was prescribed with vitamins for my liver, iron for my blood, vitamins for my immune system and vitamins for my nerves. When your oncologists doesn't prescribed you these but you feel some pains during your treatment, you should always ask.

FOODS
Broccoli - good for immune system
Taogi - super food
Talbos ng camote - good for hemoglobin
Malunggay - rich in iron/good for hemoglobin
Spinach - super food
Green Beans
Ginger - good for palette / anti inflammatory
Garlic - good for palette / anti inflammatory
Black Pepper - anti inflammatory
Boiled Camote
Boiled Banana
Fried Banana (no sugar)
Boiled Eggs - source of protein
Avocado - super food / anti oxidant
Orange - vitamin C
Guyabano - fights  cancer
Banana - high in fibre
Fresh Coconut Juice - fights cancer
Plain Oatmeal - high in fibre
Fried Foods should be cooked in Olive or Coconut Oil


NO TO PROCESSED FOODS
Canned Foods (tuna, corned beef, beef loaf, etc.)
Processed Meats (hotdogs, sausage, bacon, ham, etc.)
Sugary Drinks (iced tea, softdrinks, bottled juices, etc.)
Bread is oke but on small serving
No mayo, salad dressings (high in sugar)

Sharing a little note of the foods that I ate during my Chemotherapy. I'm not saying this is what one should eat, each type of CA has a different food diet. These are the ones that worked for me.

Lessons learned
What I basically did was a brief summary of my experience. I don't know if I covered everything on this entry but I hope I did. There are stories that are not fun to share and I know for a fact that I limited my words and sentences on this post but I feel that I have to also share a little glimpse of it. I graduated six cycles of chemotherapy in good faith. I finished my chemo treatment in 4 months and a half (there were months where I had two cycles respectively). It was not easy and will never be easy. As I recall all those times, I can't help but get teary eyed. There were so many thoughts running through my mind before I started my first treatment. I didn't like people who shared stories of their friends dying because of CA. I felt disrespected by their stories as will as the life of their friend.

When you're inside the infusion area, all you will see are hopeful stories and that's what every CA patient and their family needs to hear. I had doubts of getting better because of stories shared by those who have no medical degrees nor direct encounter with someone who has been diagnosed. But I've also learned along my treatment that you should always listen to those who inspire you and disregard everyone else's who doesn't bring you happiness, calmness and peace of mind.

Battling cancer is no joke. It requires a lot of prayers, faith, sacrifices and everyday adjustments not just for the patient but for his/her family. No one really knows what runs through the thoughts of every cancer patient. Sometimes, we appear strong but deep inside we are dying of anxiety, of endless fears of what our tomorrow will be. It is a never ending cycle of anxiety every day because the journey doesn't really end after all the treatments, the journey extends until the day you've accepted the things that you can't change. So be kind to cancer patients, either fighter or survivor - we've been to so much and a little kindness makes a whole lot of difference.

Leaving this entry with a photo of me during every chemotherapy and selfies one week after each cycle to document and for this entry. In hopes to inspire others to continually embrace any change in their lives, to stop complaining about little failures and to continue to strive to be better with God's guidance because life is a beautiful mess. To everyone who prayed for me and stayed with me during the entire course of my treatment, thank you so much. May God continue to bless you kind hearts.


Photos of me during each Chemo Cycle. I chose the bed because it's easier for me to lay and rest than the reclining seats.
Photos of me one week after each Chemotherapy. 

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Easy Fried Rice ala Nasi Goreng


Fried rice, a staple dish in most Asian homes - to which I love especially the ones with mixed vegetables. So easy that you can add whatever you want in your rice mix (including sauce). Here's my take on Nasi Goreng but without the nasi paste. Happy weekend!

Ingredients and Preparations
1cup cooked rice
1/2cup mixed taogi vegetables
7pcs shrimps
3pcs eggs
3pcs basil leaves
1tbsp olive oil
1tbsp minced garlic
1tbsp sliced onions
1tbsp sliced ginger
1tbsp soy sauce
1tbsp worstershire sauce
1tbsp tabasco sauce
chili sauce

*Sautee onions, garlic and ginger in olive oil. Add in a dash of black pepper. Add worstershire and soy sauce, mix.

*Add in shrimps. Simmer until shrimps are cook. Pour in taogi mix and tabasco sauce. Simmer for 5 minutes. Add broccoli, simmer for another 5 minutes.

*Add a little oil and pour in 2 beaten eggs. Let eggs cook. Add in rice. Mix.

*Serve and top with basil leaves and chili sauce.

Friday, October 25, 2019

Spicy Shrimp and Fish Spaghetti in Olive Oil


Today, decided to make myself some simple pasta dish. Naming it Spicy Shrimp and Fish Spaghetti in Olive Oil. I've made this meal a couple of months ago but this time, I updated the ingredients.  Also, learned how to peel the shrimps today - an interesting highlight for someone who has not been in the kitchen since I was diagnosed in March. Enjoy!

Ingredients and Procedures

100g   Spaghetti Noodles
3tbsp  Olive Oil
3tbsp  Minced Garlic
2tbsp  Sliced Onions
2tbsp  Tabasco Sauce
1tbsp  Butter
3tbsp  Grated Cheese
3tbsp  Cooked Fish Flakes
5pcs   Peeled Shrimps
7pcs   Basil Leaves
1cup   Diced Tomatoes
1cup   Broccoli (optional)
A Dash of Black Pepper

*Cooked spaghetti noodles as per packaging instruction. I do mine for 10 minutes. After 5 minutes, I add in the broccoli. Add additional 2 minutes and add in tomatoes.

*Take out tomatoes and reserved for later sauteing. Save spaghetti water for later - about half a cup. Set aside cooked spaghetti noodles with broccoli.

*In a pan, pour in olive oil, add onions, garlic. Sautee for 2 minutes. Add in butter and peeled shrimps. Sautee until shrimps are slightly cooked. Add in fish flakes, ground black pepper and then diced tomatoes. Add in tabasco sauce and 1/2 spaghetti water. Simmer for 2 minutes.

*Add in spaghetti and broccoli. Add remaining spaghetti water and grated cheese. Mix and drop in basil leaves.