CoVid19

This post is a little sensitive but with all that has been happening for this year - everything seems to be a sensitive and unexpected topic. Here's to hoping that most of you are in great spirits and in good health. 

Two months ago, Martijn was tested positive for CoVid19. Just when I thought this year couldn't get any worst - me - being a cancer thriver suddenly became irrelevant. To be honest, I didn't know how to react to the news when he shared it to me. I remember, he complained about getting tired after his usually Sunday walks and in the days that followed, he continued to feel that. 

The next few days, Martijn sent me a message saying his co-worker got tested and was positive and that he would also be tested due to his close exposure with the other baker (in my head I wanted to keep a positive vibe - my husband is a tough cookie - he's not getting the sh*t) but the day came and he was positive of the virus. I didn't know how to deal with it, knowing that I was far and Martijn was alone at home, made it all more difficult for me to comprehend why such thing happened. 

My husband had most of the symptoms. It started with tiredness, a little pain in the chest, runny nose, no sense of smell and taste and thank God, these were just the symptoms that he had. This basically lasted for almost 2 weeks under home self-quarantine. I felt helpless not being able to do things for him. Hearing him say that it takes all his energy just to walk to the toilet from our bedroom was a nightmare. In most countries, CoVid19 positives are asked to do a home quarantine. For Martijn, it was just a 10 day quarantine but he decided to do longer just to make sure. 

There is no vaccine nor prescribed medication. My in-laws bought my husband vitamins and Martijn had to cook healthy meals to fight off the virus. He was asked by his doctor to call in, if he feels worst than he already had. Fast-forward to now, he is doing much better and had just started doing regular work hours at work. During his quarantine period, he was also given letters to send out to those whom he had close contact with to inform them about the situation. I, somehow wish our government does the same, to avoid the further spread of this virus. 

CoVid19 is not a joke. It is real and I just hope most people will understand the rate of its havoc. Some people are blessed to have good immune systems to fight this illness. My husband and I video-called every day during his quarantine time and I can see the look of tiredness wearing him off and it's a painful sight. Prayers and loads of meticulous cautious should be practiced. Wear your face masks, face shield, wash your hands ever so often and eat healthy foods. Most of all, avoid crowded places.

None of us know when this pandemic will end but I know that if we do our share to help each other, we will be able to get by just fine. Thank you to all the front liners who are giving their best every day and to every one who was able to fight off this virus - you did well. My - our hearts go out to those who have loss their loved ones during this difficult time due to CoVid19. God Bless us all.

Sharing a recent photo of us. Apart but never far. Stay safe everyone!

Two Years Married: 5 Lessons Learned

A couple of weeks ago Martijn and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. Two years of being away from each other went by fast. Although, my husband had been coming to the Philippines for a visit in the last years - it is still a little odd that a young married couple are celebrating their blissfulness in different time zones but there are circumstances that we can't predict nor run away from - CoVid19 happened. 

Last year, I posted an entry on the 8 lessons we learned in a span of one year being married. This year, I was trying to top what I previously wrote but only ended on 5 lessons which was mostly from my husband. I'd say nothing much has changed in our set up, though there are a lot of changes - I am still partly bald from all my cancer treatment and Martijn has started losing weight. One thing remains - I am still happily married and in love with my husband. 

Communication, since we are both on Long Distance Relationship - it is important to have a constant communication - of any form; messaging, video call and believe it or not - email (my husband is a fan of this). An open communication is necessary for couples who are spending most of their days apart. Never forget to say hi in the morning and goodnight in the evening. We usually a lot a time for video call. We keep track of each other's plan for the day and would randomly send photos of each other - of what we're doing or where we currently are. 

Be Selfless, being away from each other - somehow makes us all feel a little selfish. There are instances, where I feel that I am not that involved in my spouse's life, that sometimes I feel, he is not as present in mine as well. These emotions can sometimes pile up and cause us to unconsciously demand more from our wife/husband. Being selfless means being able to respect your partners choices and opinions. Listening to each other, no matter how shallow the whines might be. I've previously wrote that Martijn is such a good listener which balances my need to be heard. It is of course a give and take - two way street. 

Go With The Flow, be the couple who doesn't think so much of what they can and can't control. The world as it is, is full of unpredictable circumstances that could either make or break you both. Stand still and ride the tides of the storm with courage and faith. Martijn and I, albeit our marriage is still young had been quiet on a roller coaster. My husband is a dreamer, an optimist and I am a realist - pessimist. A complete opposite but somehow, we both have to agree that in order for our relationship to continually grow - we have to go with the current and see the views we pass by. The world might be too shallow and scary but if we have each other to hold hands and to stand together though miles apart then we're all good.

Always Be Positive, stand your guard and don't let it down. I have to admit that there were so many instances where I've been throwing my husband endless fires of tantrums and I've noticed that he has never let his shield down nor given up on us. In spite all my flaws - our flaws, we have decided to stick to other and think of what lies in the future for us. My husband once said "the world doesn't seem to like us very much". It got stuck in my head and made me think but then if we both decide to get stuck by that idea then we will not move forward and grow together as husband and wife. It is necessary that when the other feels that the world is colliding endlessly - the other has to be the torch that brings in positivity and lifts the other. Martijn usually cracks the joke when my mood seems blue and when it's his moment, I try my best to be the funny Asian that I can be.

Make It Work, a married couple are two different individuals with different perspectives - making it a little impossible to be on the same page but given the circumstances that you might be in, make it work. Compromise whenever the situation calls for it. Always respect each other's boundaries. You might be married but keep in mind that you're two different people. As much as possible, try your best to be there for the other. Support each other no matter what. Last year Martijn started a little house project but it didn't mean that I can't be part of it because I was virtually with him in choosing furnitures and in deciding which and what to buy (although I would usually see the photos once I'm up because of the time difference). 

Initially, I wanted to write 8 lessons learned in a span of two years but in my husband's word; "we can't always learn 8 lessons every year or else we'll have more than a hundred". Although, I would gravely disagree on that because learning something about each other and about our union, is never ending - I would partly nod, since I can't think of anything else to jot down. 

Being away for two years instead of being on the same roof and learning something new every day, Martijn and I are apart. No regrets nor pity thoughts about our situation, for I know that God has greater purpose for all of these. We might not always be on the same page but my husband and I are on the same boat, reading and writing the same fairytale. Wishing all the best for married couples who are affected by the recent world crisis. Let's all cheer up. Let's all keep an open communication, be selfless, go with the flow no matter how bad it might be, always stay positive in faith and make it work for always.

My favourite photo of me and Martijn from last year during his visit to the Philippines.

A Year In Marriage: 8 Lessons Learned

A couple of days ago, Martijn and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I can't say a lot has changed since then but definitely a lot of individual growth has happened. This year we celebrated in our respective time zones through video calls, snail card and online shopping (courtesy of my man). I am currently in the Philippines for my treatments and my husband is in Holland for work. A year in marriage seems like a life time ago but it is the best decision that I've made. Marriage is not all sunshine and smiles - it is a union of two different individuals who are in love and wants to spend the rest of their lives being in love or annoying each other but whichever it is, it boils down to love and two persons. 

In the last couple of weeks, I have been bugging myself on what entry I should post for August. I could do my chemotherapy treatment, some recipes I've managed to learn and being married. I obviously, chose the latter. With this, we came up with 8 learnings in our one year of married life. I'm not saying this is how everyone must feel within a year of marriage but I am writing this based on our personal experience.

1. Two Becomes One, once you're married it is mandatory that you become one person, a team because why get married in the first place if you don't see your self in unity and in flow with your partner. This is the part, where you share everything from bed pillows, bath towels and sometimes toothbrush (don't give me the gross out face - you'll experience this one way or the other). The point is, you're not anymore alone. You gain your other half which makes you completely whole.

2. Married My Bestfriend, before marriage - I had my best gal friends. I never had a male friend because I had limited circles (studied in an all girl school) and I was a little picky with people. When I met my husband, I gained a friend and eventually a bestfriend. The beauty of marrying your bestfriend is that you have a friend for life who will never judge nor leave your battle ground. Marrying your bestfriend means being able to talk about anything that makes you tick and makes you mellow. Also, it makes you appreciate the beauty of openness about being able to say anything under the sun without filter - in my case being on video call for hours even without the eyebrows. Also, your husband bestfriend is the ultimate romcom movie date even when it's a musical movie.

3. We Fight, We Make Up, just like in every relationship - there will come a time when you have to argue on things not because you're both war freaks but because you're two individuals with different traits. Little things such as who cleans the bathroom, city navigation or in my case, I am hangry when I am hungry so this is our point of argument. When you're married, you have to keep in mind, that once you have fight, you can't just go to bed without talking or making up because one such argument files up - it'll basically eat both of you. You have to remember to be more calm and forgiving. Regardless of who's fault it is, either of you can always say the first word "sorry". I'm still learning to say it more often but eventually we will get there. 

4. His - Mine - Ours, being an only child - I have to admit that I am selfish in so many ways I could count but being married made me a little selfless. You see, once you're married you don't just think of your self, you have to think of your husband. Of what makes him happy, what makes you happy and what makes both of you happy, you have to take part in making your relationship as one part of the other. When I got married, Martijn shared his house to me and I, on my part shared my ability to make it a home for us. His, mine, ours does not only mean finances but it means sharing your self as you are to making it all fall into place - just like a puzzle. And as we grow old, I know that there will be more instances where we both have to make an effort to do our respective responsibility to make our marriage as lively, loving and homey as we can.

5. Think Of The Future, this is from my husband's point of view which happens to be my point of view as well. However, I am a realists with emphasis on "the moment" while Martijn is on "the future". Quite the opposite but both are win win in so many ways. In marriage it is both important to be at the present and think of the future - to savour each moment together, each day to day plans and goals that you want to achieved as a team. Sometimes, you don't always meet halfway but when you start hearing and respecting each other's opinion then you can start creating the moment together to have a better future as a couple. Talking and making little plans is something that I've learned to do with my husband. I don't always agree with him but I know also that he will always decide on the right things for us.

6. Be Calm, because you can't expect you and your life partner to have the exact same personality. You are both different people with different expectations in life, so when uncertainty, pity fights and problems arise, it is important to stay calm and process everything in your head before you blurt out words or do actions that will lead to a bigger problem. I have a bad temper and sometimes I just lose it and I know my husband does the same but tries his best to remain as nice as possible. Be calm and when you're a little more relax, you and your partner can talk it out. In our current situation, Martijn is the calmness when it comes to life threatening problems. He's the most positive person on earth - way more positve than I am.

7. Always A Yes, another learning that my man learned in our year of marriage. I've heard of men saying "always say yes to your wife" and I think my husband picked that one out from the book of husbands. He doesn't always say yes although, most of the time when I want something - he gives me a thoughtful look and eventually says yes. This makes married life easier because this prevents pity fights in days where the wife wants something out of the blue. I, remember him saying "I won't spoil you like your mother does" but I beg to disagree because somehow he does.

8. Compromise,  one of the most important learnings that my husband and I learned in our year of marriage. Here, we both agree to settle some of our differences when it comes to making decisions and plans. Since we are both on LDR, we have to compromise when one is tired and has to rest. Compromising when one wants this and the other doesn't. It is important to meet halfway - always. To settle different expectations by respecting and giving way to your partner's choices and decisions especially when it comes to your relationship, home and finances. Compromise doesn't mean you always have to agree with each other, compromise in our understanding is being able to discuss things and come out with a better option which is win win for both of you. 

So, that's our eight learnings in our one year of marriage. We still have a long way to go but we will get there day by day. The point of me writing this down is to remind myself of how much Martijn and I have grown. Each day, there are new things to learn. It's difficult when you're on different time zones but we compromise and we make it work because we respect and love each other in spite our differences and continuous individual growth. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Being married to someone who looks forward to growing old with you is an every day blessing. Each relationship is different from the other. I can't compare what I share with my husband to what others have. I, believe what I have with Martijn is unique the way that every partnership is. Hope this post made you think and smile. 

Here's a photo from our wedding day which sums up how we look at each other when we're deciding on something. 

Nine Best of 2018

Counting down the days until it's finally 2019. This year had been nothing but wonderful. This year is too awesome that putting a collage of just 9 photos is not enough. But before I go into the jest of that, belated Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your celebrations were filled with gratitude, peace, happiness and love. Let's not forget the real essence of this day which is to celebrate the birth of our Saviour Lord Jesus Christ.

Now, on our final entry for this year. I want to share a very childish thing I did on Christmas eve. Every Christmas, I always made sure to give gifts to everyone I love, no matter how inexpensive it is. The important thing is to share what little blessings you have to those whose eyes will light up with excitement with the thought of receiving and opening a gift. I did just that, my usual routine every year. In my gut feeling, I know that I won't be getting any thing and I know I won't be receiving any package from my husband because it's not his thing. But I was still hopeful. Then Christmas eve came and all the names were called and mine was not - and there in the face - in all my red lipstick - made up face - I wanted to cry. I felt sad and like a child who was not called to be part of the dance group - I hated the thought that none of the people in the room I was in, bothered to wrap something for me. And so I complained to my husband.

The following morning, I woke up a little broken hearted but then I realised that I received so much more than any gifts that any one can wrapped for me. This year was all about receiving good graces from God even though I didn't asked for most of them. In one of the social media platforms - Instagram, some people are using the hashtag #2018bestnine to post the top best nine photos they have for this year and that is the inspiration of this entry.

2018 started with a banged for me. Here's a brief description of the photos I have chosen to include in my nine best of 2018.

1. At the beginning of the year, Martijn and I got engaged and secured a wedding date.

2. Got to see my aunts whom I haven't seen in years. 

3. Martijn and I got married in a civil ceremony in Holland.

4. Celebrated our marriage with family and finally got to meet Martijn's sister and her partner who lives in Czech Republic.

5. We got to tour the famous Rijksmuseum and got to see the "night's watch" by Rembrant. 

6. Was able to successfully host my first birthday dinner.

7. When I went back home from Holland, my parents decided to move to Davao, so we can live in my house. Thus, the need to bring Mobee there - it was a success.

8. This year I finally took the Basic Dutch Integration Exam (hopefully I passed, that's for another blog for next year).

9. Got to spend the holidays with my family. 

You see, this is not even half of what I have received this year. There's more to this photos but can't put in the collage anymore. I may have whined for not getting a gift but I am thankful that I realised right away how blessed I have been. Sometimes, we forget the real essence of this season which is God's gift of life for each and every one of us. I am here, healthy, with food in my hands and a roof above my head. I have my family beside me, my husband, his family and my friends just a message and call away. I am beyond blessed and I hope we get to be grateful for these things apart from being grateful to the material things that we have received. I did get some wrapped presents from my in laws in Holland and my husband - but I have yet to open them when I'm back next year.

Wishing all of us a wonderful year ahead and a lovely end of the year. May we not forget to give thanks and enjoy the little things that matters. Happy Holidays!

Hello 2018!

Happy New Year everyone! First entry for 2018 as I'm counting down the few days left of my visit here in Holland. Here's to hoping that everyone had a wonderful NYE celebration and jump start of the year.

As for us, we started it with a whole lot of planning, little tears (from me obviously) and full of positivity for what's ahead this year. Currently sick but feeling better. As everyone in Cebu is feeling all the festivities of the Sinulog, I am also feeling the good vibes for, Martijn and I have made platforms for the next few months. Starting of with me learning to speak Dutch. Since last year, I have been trying to learn words and sentences with the help of Martijn's mother, I'm now able to say and write short sentences, though I have to admit that most of the time my brain freezes with the overwhelming idea that I am learning a new language at 34 but learning is a never ending curve.

Some might be asking as to why I have to learn the language, I have to learn to speak and write in Dutch to be able to take a civic integration examination, which is a requirement if an individual wants to stay in Holland for more than 90 days. My visa is currently valid for 2 years but I am only allowed to stay for 90 days each visit but I have no complains about it (just that the fare are high on peak seasons). If I pass the test, I'll be able to apply for a residence permit which is good for 5 years which will enable me to live with Martijn for good and be able to work in Holland. 

Holland has a different immigration platform compared to other European countries. I say, theirs is to secure that anyone who steps foot in their country gets treated fairly and would go out and be part of the society to make the whole nation a better place for everyone. At first, I didn't understood such policy but if you look at it in a bigger picture, it is really for you own advantage and I am looking forward to being able to blend in and slowly start a life here. So, here's to hoping that my Dutch improves and that all our plans as a couple works out.

Will also start to be active on here again. The next few months is going to be a little exciting but for now, this is it. #nosebleed is real :D