Diagnosis

Wow! It's been 5 months since my last post. In that time frame, a lot has happened but here I am still thriving. My last entry was about visa application, passing the language exam and moving to Holland to be with my husband. It felt like a light years away but everything in our marriage is going smoothly but I have to put on hold moving to the other side of the world for some serious health matters. Putting it on hold means, staying in the Philippines for the entire year, disregarding my approved visas, the possibility of studying in Holland and starting married life with my husband. But there are things that we can't predict nor avoid. I am just so blessed to have married a very understanding man. Read along to know more about the journey that I am in. 

Years ago, I've had a problem with my monthly period. I usually have long extended periods that could last more than a week. I went to an OB Gyne 6 - 7 years ago and was told nothing was wrong and my period went on normally and since then I had been to the doctor for routine yearly check ups with "Nothing's Wrong" as their response to all pap smears til last year when I started having periods for a month (yes! a month! imagine having it every single day for a month - gross? no, scary) which led me to google.com and of course all the searches leads to the big C but I shrugged it off since I was by the OB in October and was told nothing was wrong and I just have to take some pills.

But start of this year, the month long period came back with really bad cramps. So bad, I would have chills and would think I'll die. I'd have days when I can't stand sitting for too long and standing for too long because it hurts and I would have big clot discharges. This led my mother to bring me to see a doctor early March. On the spot, the OB decided to check what's causing the pain I felt and there it was, a mass hanging by my cervix since my ovaries aren't visible on the TVS scan. Right there and then she took some samples for biopsy. While waiting for it, I already had a bad feeling. And I was right.

10 days after that day, I was diagnosed with an aggressive type of carcinoma cell. I was diagnosed with Cancer. Honestly, I didn't know what to feel that moment. I didn't shed a single tear at the clinic. The doctor kept asking if I was oke but I just said - I am. Initially, she had told me that everything in my womb has to be taken out - which means I can't be pregnant and would be on early menopause but when she saw the biopsy result, I was referred to an Oncologist.

Meeting the Oncologist went smoothly. We discussed my options for surgery, treatments and what I can do to save and preserved my eggs but upon seeing the scenario down, I can't afford to wait for two months to preserved and freeze my eggs. On the week that I met the doctor, I was scheduled for a major operation to removed my entire womb to save my life. Writing this down makes me teary eyed. I never thought I was that brave at that moment. 

My surgery took almost 7 hours and my womb looked so bad, the doctor had to call my mother to the operating room to see it and see me and to let her know that there were two fixed lymph nodes left in my body that she couldn't take out. My mom thought I was dying at the moment but here I am, God is good. The operating room experience was scary but I was so full of life, I kept waking while I was still open and being operated. I kept complaining about the bad song choices they were playing. I think that was my way for shaking off what the outcome would be. It was a successful operation and I have to thank the group of doctors and nurses who were there with me. 

After the operation, I was bed ridden. I couldn't move and I couldn't stand up. I started sitting after 3 days but I was able to walk better after 5 days, even climbed the stairs in our house. My recovery was fast and after 3 weeks since the surgery, I started my first chemotherapy. The silver lining of everything was that my diagnosis changed from an aggressive type of carcinoma cancer to the more curable adenocarcinoma. I was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer Stage IIIC. The chemotherapy treatment is for 6 cycles. I am now going to my 5th treatment - hopefully with no complications. After chemotherapy, is 6 weeks of radiation therapy. 

This is the reason why I stopped posting an entry, why I have to put on hold moving to Holland. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. I never questioned why this happened to me, I am still so bless in spite the situation. I am still able to do so much stuff though limited in most days.  I've filtered this entry to the best that I can. There are in between stories that I opted not the write, not because they're irrelevant but because I wanted to keep some emo moments to myself and to my family but will eventually add them to other entries I'll post about my treatment.

Being diagnosed with cancer is scary. There will be times where you'll feel lonely and left out. There will be days where you just want yourself all to yourself but most days are oke. I am blessed to have a good support system from my family, friends to my doctors and the nurses. I still have a long way to go with my treatments but I know I will be oke because I am not alone in this journey. God is with me and my loved ones are just behind me. Thanks for reading this slightly extra long blog. Will try to be more active in the weeks to come. Cheers!

Here's a photo of me a day after my surgery.