Amber

When I think of shoes... make up... dresses... accessories and long hair... Only one person comes to my mind and that's Amber.

I met while on training for a job a few years ago. I envied her upon seeing her for the first time. She seemed so perfect and she was just nice. If I were a man, I would definitely hit on her but I'm a woman and from a far I could only admire her, for she possessed the qualities that I wished I had.

I never became close to her except for casual meet ups since she's also a friend of a good friend, Belle.

A while back, Belle IMed me... telling me that Amber is gone. And so,  I said... gone? What do you mean? And the answer that I've been expecting popped out on my screen.

The moment Belle told me about the situation a few months back [I wrote an entry about it], I knew that something was wrong but I kept my silence and hoped for the best.

At the age of 27, she's gone and I can still recall her last comment on my photo. She wanted a pair of shoes and I said yes but never had the chance to give her nor did I have the chance to see her before this day came.

And looking at it now, I am reminded that we all have to cherish every moment that we are with that person whom we care for because life is too short that when you wanted to say the things you want to say or do the things you want to do with them... it's already too late.

I feel so down. I am not hurting nor in pain but I feel disappointed with myself for not being able to hang out with her. I guess, all I can do now is think of her happy face... kikay ways and her mellow voice.

I will miss you Amber! Thank you so much for the friendship. I will see you when I see you...

"you're life has been a colorful one..." 12.15.82 * 07.19.10