Writing this entry took some time. I simply didn't know where to start, which words to use - I didn't know where to begin with my chemotherapy experience. But I'll try my best to settle with words that are easy to understand.
After knowing that there were still two fixed lymph nodes in my body that the oncologist was unable to take out, I knew in my heart that I will have to undergo a series of Cancer treatments. First of which is Chemotherapy. Honestly, I didn't care anymore when I heard that I'll have to do six cycles of this treatment. I wanted to get better, to live further than what cancer usually settles in. I had faith in my doctor, the medications and above all, I know God is with me and will be with me.
The impending hair loss was something that I did look forward. Eventually, I will loss my hair because of the chemicals in the drugs to be used. So, I prepared by buying myself hair wigs and eyebrow pencils. Coming from a family who had two aunts who loss their hair because of chemotherapy, I somehow knew what to expect and there are many blogs online, shared by cancer survivors about their experiences and that helped a lot. The important thing that I kept telling myself was to accept things as they come. That I will eventually grow my hair back.
Preparations before Chemotherapy (what to bring)
Prior to getting infused with the chemo medicines, there are a few preparations that had to be done aside from mentally setting your mind, emotionally and spiritually - one has to be physically healthy to be able to undergo the treatment. The chemo drugs that were used on me were a combination of Paclitaxel and Carboplatin. Researching about these drugs before getting the treatment made me realised how strong the effects are that they made one loss the hair (not just scalp hair but the entire hair in the body - including nostrils). Going online and researching about these things helped in easing up the anxiety I felt then. Having enough knowledge on what you'll go through helps in mentally preparing yourself.
I had to undergo six cycles of which, which was given every 21 days. Before each treatment, I have to undergo a series of medical exams that includes complete blood count, sodium, calcium, potassium, urinalysis, CA125, blood uric acid, creatinine, SGPT, magnesium (and a whole lot more which I kind of forgot) to see if I'm fit to push through with every treatment schedule. Each medical exam gives me the creeps. The needle had been my bestfriend in the last couple of months but no complains, I didn't have any delays in my chemo treatment. I was mostly healthy though there were times that medical results shows a markdown on certain levels but was always passing. Praise God.
The night before my schedule chemotherapy, I have to take 10 tablets of Dexamethasone (5 tablets at 9pm and another 5 tablets at 3am). Dexamethasone is a type of steroid that prevents the release of substance in the body that causes inflammation. Apart from this, I do cold compress on my hands one week before each treatment to keep my veins alive and visible during infusion. It is important that the veins in the hands are visible, this makes the infusion easier for the CA patient and it's less painful when the drugs are infused in the hand veins than in the arms but it varies person per person. For me, it was always easier on the hands but at the later part of the cycles, my veins started to collapsed. During my fifth chemotherapy, the needles didn't hold on to the veins anymore which led to my hand’s swelling for more than a week. The veins where the first few infusions were done were not visible anymore. It was only recently (after External Radiation Therapy) that my veins were visible again.
What to bring during chemotherapy, I'd say bring loads of food - nah! kidding but on serious note, it is best to bring your own set of lunch and small snacks as well as drinks - preferably water. During my treatments, I would have light breakfast at home, usually plain oats. My father prepares my lunch which is consists of brown rice, steamed vegetables and mushrooms or fish and I have crackers or fruits for snacks. The entire time I had my treatments, I mostly eat only steamed vegetables, mushrooms and fish. Mushrooms are good for the immune system and when you have cancer, it is best to avoid salty dishes. And the most important thing you have to bring with you (which I also learned from my aunts) is a liter or more of drinking water. Once you start getting the chemo infusion, it is best to stay hydrated to keep on peeing to flash on the toxins from the chemo drug. As my aunt would say - drink water as if your life depends on it.
Also, don't forget to bring essentials like hand lotions, hand sanitizer, candies (in case you puke - choose the ginger flavoured candies or lemon), neck pillow, book (in case you get bored), tablets (for movies if you prefer movies like I do), gadget chargers and headsets, you don't want to ruin others relaxing/ sleeping vibe at the infusion center. And a pair of socks and make sure to wear something comfy like a dress for easier movements when going to the toilet.
During Chemotherapy (what to expect)
Just when you thought you're done with all the necessary preparations for your treatment - that's when you find out that there is no such thing as the preparation is over in the cancer world. Prior to getting the treatment, the nurses have to weigh you in (to make sure the dose for the medicines are appropriate for you), take your vitals (temperature, heart rate and blood pressure) - all which I fail, I usually get so scared upon seeing the nurses and the thought that I might get another bad side effects like the ones I heard from someone and so on (these thoughts run to CA patient's mind - it's best to mellow down on telling us stories that don't help nor inspire us). I was always asked to rest for a bit then they take another round and if I pass then we're good to go.
The second step after the vitals is - dextrose or flashing as they call it to prepare your veins. After about 30 minutes to an hour, the nurses starts to give you the preventive inflammation medicines like steroids and stuff (I forgot to ask the names but I had 5 pre meds infusion before the chemo medicines). And they have to stay in your system for about 30 minutes then the first chemo medicine infusion starts. They always start with Paclitaxel which lasts for 4 hours and then flashing for an hour and then it's Carboplatin which lasts for 2 hours then another hour of flashing. All in all, it takes about 7 hours for one cycle of chemotherapy but it feels longer than that. I sometimes, come in at 8 in the morning and go home at almost 5 in the afternoon.
During the infusion of the pre meds, nurses will inform you of any side effects that you may feel, one particular drug had the side effect of a super itchy butt hole which could last for a minute and you'll usually feel tired and sleepy which you have to give in to, so you could rest. There are also instances where you will feel a burning sensation on your veins with Paclitaxel, once this occurs, it is best to request for some cold compress (thankfully, I only had that during the start of infusion then by magic they increase the flow of dextrose and it's better but I had batchmates who had to have the cold compress the whole treatment or every treatment).
Along the treatment procedure, you will feel more relax once you just focus on getting enough rest while you're getting the medicines. It will be hard to move with the infusions attached on your veins but you can still move and you have to somehow exercise your hands to avoid cramps.
After Chemotherapy (side effects, hair loss and foods)
Feeling tired or lazy after each treatment depends on the person. Each person is different from the rest. I, for myself always went malling after each treatment, I'm grateful that I didn't feel as tired as most CA patients did after chemotherapy. I learned during the entire six cycles, to move when you can, to use your energy when you have enough to do what you want to do.
I started losing my hair at the first cycle, though not abruptly but slowly. I would shower and would have falling hair. But prior to the start of my treatment, I already trimmed down my long hair. It was during the second cycle that I decided to shave off my hair because the hair fall was starting to annoy me. I didn't have a problem with losing the hair scalp. It was losing the eyebrows that really caught me off guard. It was something that I had a hard time processing. I started losing all my hairs in body parts during third cycle and by fourth, fifth and last cycle - I was bald every where even my eyelashes which made it difficult to be outside without any sunglasses or eyeglasses to protect the eyes. But it was easy to adjust one day at a time with the loss. I started to go on youtube, pinterest and googled on how to do my eyebrows which I eventually learned like a professional but the lashes but something different. I had bulging eyes. The scalp was easy to cover with fashionable caps which are available online. Scarves were nice but it was difficult to wrap them on the head. Also, I bought 3 hair wigs which I did used a couple of times.
The most common side effects that I experienced was gum numbness, hand numbness, fatigue, headaches and joint pains. There were also instances were I didn't like the smell of certain foods but never did I puke nor got too bed ridden because of the medicines. I think the worst side effect that I acquired that even up to now, I still have is the on and off smell. I am glad that I had take home post chemotherapy medicines each cycle. Preventive measures set by my oncologist to ensure I am comfortable the entire treatment and I am bless to have experienced minimal and tolerable side effects. But the most common of it all, would be a really bad temper. That's why it is important to always appreciate and let a CA patient feel love, no matter what.
During chemotherapy, all your immune system is going to fail and a CA patient is more prone to infections, bacteria and viruses thus, it is important to eat healthy. It should be a balanced healthy meal. I, mostly had malunggay (moringa) soup, steamed mushrooms, steamed vegetables consists of broccoli, beans, carrots and sometimes potatoes. I had a good appetite the entire time, I had brown rice always. Try to avoid sugary food, canned foods and processed foods of any kind. A couple of times I was diagnosed with UTI because of too much fruits. I have also avoided eating meats of any kind during the entire course of my chemotherapy. The bloatedness was from the steroids and from how good I was in eating. It is also important to have all the necessary vitamins you need in order to sustain what is being destroyed by the chemicals on the chemo drug.
I was prescribed with vitamins for my liver, iron for my blood, vitamins for my immune system and vitamins for my nerves. When your oncologists doesn't prescribed you these but you feel some pains during your treatment, you should always ask.
FOODS
Broccoli - good for immune system
Taogi - super food
Talbos ng camote - good for hemoglobin
Malunggay - rich in iron/good for hemoglobin
Spinach - super food
Green Beans
Ginger - good for palette / anti inflammatory
Garlic - good for palette / anti inflammatory
Black Pepper - anti inflammatory
Boiled Camote
Boiled Banana
Fried Banana (no sugar)
Boiled Eggs - source of protein
Avocado - super food / anti oxidant
Orange - vitamin C
Guyabano - fights cancer
Banana - high in fibre
Fresh Coconut Juice - fights cancer
Plain Oatmeal - high in fibre
Fried Foods should be cooked in Olive or Coconut Oil
NO TO PROCESSED FOODS
Canned Foods (tuna, corned beef, beef loaf, etc.)
Processed Meats (hotdogs, sausage, bacon, ham, etc.)
Sugary Drinks (iced tea, softdrinks, bottled juices, etc.)
Bread is oke but on small serving
No mayo, salad dressings (high in sugar)
Sharing a little note of the foods that I ate during my Chemotherapy. I'm not saying this is what one should eat, each type of CA has a different food diet. These are the ones that worked for me.
Lessons learned
What I basically did was a brief summary of my experience. I don't know if I covered everything on this entry but I hope I did. There are stories that are not fun to share and I know for a fact that I limited my words and sentences on this post but I feel that I have to also share a little glimpse of it. I graduated six cycles of chemotherapy in good faith. I finished my chemo treatment in 4 months and a half (there were months where I had two cycles respectively). It was not easy and will never be easy. As I recall all those times, I can't help but get teary eyed. There were so many thoughts running through my mind before I started my first treatment. I didn't like people who shared stories of their friends dying because of CA. I felt disrespected by their stories as will as the life of their friend.
When you're inside the infusion area, all you will see are hopeful stories and that's what every CA patient and their family needs to hear. I had doubts of getting better because of stories shared by those who have no medical degrees nor direct encounter with someone who has been diagnosed. But I've also learned along my treatment that you should always listen to those who inspire you and disregard everyone else's who doesn't bring you happiness, calmness and peace of mind.
Battling cancer is no joke. It requires a lot of prayers, faith, sacrifices and everyday adjustments not just for the patient but for his/her family. No one really knows what runs through the thoughts of every cancer patient. Sometimes, we appear strong but deep inside we are dying of anxiety, of endless fears of what our tomorrow will be. It is a never ending cycle of anxiety every day because the journey doesn't really end after all the treatments, the journey extends until the day you've accepted the things that you can't change. So be kind to cancer patients, either fighter or survivor - we've been to so much and a little kindness makes a whole lot of difference.
Leaving this entry with a photo of me during every chemotherapy and selfies one week after each cycle to document and for this entry. In hopes to inspire others to continually embrace any change in their lives, to stop complaining about little failures and to continue to strive to be better with God's guidance because life is a beautiful mess. To everyone who prayed for me and stayed with me during the entire course of my treatment, thank you so much. May God continue to bless you kind hearts.
Photos of me during each Chemo Cycle. I chose the bed because it's easier for me to lay and rest than the reclining seats.
Photos of me one week after each Chemotherapy.
